


Movie Night!

by Mysana



Series: The Extraordinary Life of Darcy Lewis (Much to her Fathers' Worry) [17]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sherlock (TV), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Darcy isn't perfect, Families of Choice, Gen, Sam/Natasha/Steve friendship, The Princess Bride References, Thor Is Not Stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-17 19:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10600314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysana/pseuds/Mysana
Summary: Darcy is avoiding, and the Princess Bride is an essential part of pop culture.





	1. Essential Pop Culture

Darcy wasn’t _avoiding_ Tony so much as strategically not being at that same location at the same time. That way when Papa called and asked if she had asked about Christmas, Darcy could honestly say they hadn’t run into one another. Unfortunately, Tony seemed to have some sort of Avoidance Detector as only few days later Darcy got a message from Tony via JARVIS.

“What’s up ladybug? Anyway, I’m putting together a movie night, since Cap, Grease Lightening, _and_ Brucie Bear all lack essential pop culture knowledge. _They haven’t seen the Princess Bride!_ “

“Oh no.” Darcy deadpanned, “how ever have they managed to survive.”

“Oh haha Ladybug, but you only say that to delay your own panic, since I know any child of mine will have seen the Princess Bride - and be able to quote it. If you can’t I’ll have to speak about getting you removed from your current guardians for child abuse.” Tony joked, Darcy tensed. She _knew_ he was joking. She did, but it was hard enough to have two dads (well, three now…) but child services had been a recurring villain of her childhood. “So? Quote for me!”

“As you wish.” Darcy obliged, Tony laughed and started talking again. He didn’t sound nervous, he sounded confident and like he was about to say ‘haters gonna hate’ but for some reason Darcy thought he sounded… a bit off.

“…Anyway, so I was thinking we could meet tonight around 6pm.”

“Tony, I don’t get off work until 8:30.”

“… You only get paid from 9 to 6.”

“I work from 6 to 9 most nights.”

“But. You don’t get paid for it.”

“Yes I know, I didn’t choose this job for the pay Tony, I didn’t get paid at all until Jane came to the tower.”

“But. Movie night.” Tony didn’t sound sad, but there was definitely something going on. Darcy raised an eyebrow and rolled her eyes even though she knew Tony couldn’t see it.

“I’ll speak with Jane, I’m sure she can manage by herself for one night. She did somehow survive before I came around.”

“Good. I’ll see you at the cinema at 6.”

“Okay, sure. Weirdo.”

“The call has ended Ms. Darcy.”

“I know Jarvis, I know.”

“Are you well Ms. Darcy, your heart rate has increased dramatically over the course of the conversation.”

“Jarvis… how well do you think Tony would respond to me asking if I can bring my family here for Christmas.” Darcy paused and took deep breath, “So. So we can celebrate like a family.” There was a long pause on Jarvis’ behalf before he said,

“I cannot be sure Ms. Darcy, Sir has always been… sensitive when it came to the topic of family. But I imagine he would say they are welcome. I cannot be sure though. I’m sorry, Ms. Darcy.”

“It’s fine Jarvis. It’s just. What if they don’t like each other?”

“I cannot possibly imagine Sir not liking the gentlemen who raised such a lovely young woman.”

“Thanks Jarv, but however much I love both my dads… Well they aren’t always the easiest people to get on with. Even Papa, who is more of a people person, is… Well… I’m worried Tony’ll kill Dad or Papa will kill Tony.”

“I see. Well, rest assured I will do my best to prevent any homicide while they are within the tower.”

“Thanks. Well… We’ll see.” Darcy smiles without humour and there is a long enough pause that she thinks the conversation has finished.

“I think it will be good for you to get this ‘off your chest’. And.” If Jarvis was human, then Darcy would think that he was bracing himself. “I think that this could be good for Sir as well.” When Darcy smiles this time, it feels much more genuine.

“Thank you Jarvis. Have you seen the Princess Bride?”

“I am aware of the synopsis of the film and have been monitoring while Sir has watched it.”

“Yeah sure, but have you _watched_ it.”

“I am not entirely sure what you are trying to suggest Ms. Darcy, but I would guess that by your measure, no, I have not.”

“Well. Watch it with us tonight.”

“I- pardon?”

“Watch. The. Movie. With. Us.’

“I. I must confess confusion towards your idea.”

“Put some of that big brain of your towards watching the movie during movie night tonight.”

“I will think about it Ms. Darcy.”

“That’s all I can ask bud.”

“I.”

“Wow, I’ve really broken you haven’t I? Well, I’m gonna go chat with Jane-y-boo and let her own I’ll be M.I.A. tonight.”

“Best of luck, Ms. Darcy.”

Darcy strolled down the hall to the room where Jane was working and knocked lightly before making her way in.

“Boss!”

“Yeah?!” Jane spun around in surprise. _Ha! Caught you!_

“Whatcha doin’?”

“… Work…”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah,” Jane yawned.

“You weren’t sleeping?”

“Nooooo…”

“Come on, time to get you to bed. Jarvis, when was the last time Jane slept for more than a couple of hours?”

“Ms. Foster got 8 hours of sleep this past Friday, that is to say, 4 days ago. On Sunday night she had 3 hours of rest throughout the day and night.”

“Thank you Jarvis.”

“No! But Darcy, my work. I’m on the edge of a break through!”

“You’ll reach that break through a lot faster if you go to sleep right now.” Darcy pulled Jane along by the arm and Jane let her. Darcy knew that Jane wasn’t really trying, for a such a small person, Jane could put up a lot of fight. The hairs of Darcy’s arm rose and she glanced back at Jane, whose eyes had narrowed.

“Is there something going on tonight that you want me out of the way for?”

“Noooo…”

“Darcy,” Jane whined, “come on, if you’re going to make me go to sleep, at least tell me what’s going on.”

“It’s just a movie night okay?”

“Oh. Well. Is Thor going?”

“Yeah.”

“What movie are we watching?”

“The Princess Bride.”

“Oh! Can I come watch too?”

Darcy thought about it for a second. It meant letting Jane stay up for another couple of hours, but it basically guaranteed that she’d actually sleep. Since if Darcy just put her in her room, then Jane might try and escape. She would fail, but Darcy would still have to spend some time tracking Jane down and that seemed like a lot of work now that there was an alternative.

“Sure. But. But! You _have_ to sleep for eight hours after.”

“… Fine.”


	2. Avengers Assemble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realised that the story's first arc ends with this episode. :0 We've come so far! <3

Jane, Darcy and Thor all made their way up to the cinema since it turned out Darcy was the only who knew where it was. It was still dark and when Darcy raised an eyebrow, it was 5 minutes ‘till 6, she’d expected _someone_ to be there already.

“Miss Darcy, Sir has asked me to update you, everyone is now meeting in the shared kitchen for pizza.”

“Oh. Okay cool, we are on our way up.” Darcy turned and Thor looked a lot more excited at the idea of food. “You a fan of pizza Thor?”

“I am indeed Darcy, it a fine food.”

“Cool, what kind are you going to want?”

“I am a fan of the ‘meat lover’” Thor said sounding thoughtful, “although it’s always good to question what this Midgardian ‘Pee-Zah’ is.” Thor grinned and Darcy smiled back at him.

“Sometimes I love that you are the trickster god’s brother.”

“He was a good brother for many years.” Thor were sightless for a moment, seemingly t remembering days long past, “it was always easy to get away with small tricks because everyone would blame him, and Loki himself didn’t mind as long as I was sneaky and the prank was successful.”

“Have I told you about my brother, Hamish?”

“No, I don’t believe you have.”

“I don’t talk about him much, but he might come visit for Christmas so I thought I might as well tell you about him a bit.” Darcy said, purposefully not looking at Thor, who was quiet. Darcy had mentioned Hamish to Jane before, but no one else. “He’s a mutant so he lives up north. He. When he was a kid, an early days villain kidnapped him for his mutation. He was gone for 10 years.”

“That is terrible! What the name of this villain?” Thor boomed as they entered the elevator.

“Moriarty. I shot him. I was 17. I wasn’t sure of much at that age, but I knew I would do anything for Hamish.” Jane looked at Darcy and Darcy looked away. She hadn’t mentioned that part before.

“I fitting beginning for my lightening-sister!” Thor said, almost softly, his own first kill hadn’t happened until he was well into his second century, but humans had shorter lifespans so perhaps it was appropriate.

“Yeah. Anyway, I wanted to let you know. Hamish is… special… I…” The door opened and Darcy went quite. “I love him with all my heart, so please try to be understanding.” She said, then walked out into the wide open space.

“Hey Ladybug, good of you to join us. What kind of pizza do you want.”

“Margarita for me, a meat lover for Thor, and a veggie for Jane. Thanks Tony!” Darcy smiled and pretended she couldn’t feel Thor’s gaze on her. “What’s up Clint?”

Clint looked up from the sofa he was sprawled on. “Ugh. I scared Lucky when I went to my apartment today and he shat all over the place.”

“Ew.”

“Yeah.” Clint said, sounding so done, “I think I’m going to move into the tower. I’ve kept my old apartment for ages, and now that SHIELD isn’t paying for it, it really isn’t worth it. Also, Hydra’s tried to break in like 4 times now since they have it on file.”

“Wow. You need to make a Superhero Problems hashtag on twitter.”

“Ha! SHIELD would never-“ There was a pause as Clint remembered that SHIELD was gone. “Oh. Yeah. I will.”

“Hi Darcy,” a soft voice said from behind Darcy’s left shoulder.

“FUCKING HELL NAT!”

And now Clint and Tony were laughing at her. Fuck them. Darcy stuck out her tongue at Clint, who only started laughing harder. “I hate you guys.”

“Don’t say that Darcy,” Sam said, tugging Captain Buttface behind him. Luckily the Winter Stalker seemed to be absent.

“Fuck you too Sam, fuck you too.”

“Honestly, such language!” Sam said laughing, “Mr. Stark! Have you learned about what pizza-movie nights are now? Darcy, did you know that Mr. Stark here didn’t know what a pizza-movie night was!” Sam sounded so confused.

“Call me Tony, Mr. Stark was my father,” “Call me Tony, Mr. Stark was my father,” Darcy and Tony said at the same time. Darcy had done her best to do a deep, insulting copy of Tony’s voice and Tony shot her a betrayed look.

“My own child! Attacking me! Defend me, Jarvis!”

“Of course, Sir. Bad Darcy. No. Bad Darcy.” Jarvis deadpanned.

“I’m Jarvis’ favourite!” Darcy said laughing, then she stuck her tongue out at Tony because she was a mature human being.

“Also Sam, I didn’t now what pizza-movie night was until I went to university…”

“Seriously?! What is with you people?”

“Um. None of us had normal childhoods.” Darcy said, giving a gesture at the alien, russian spy, child genius they had assembled among others.”

“Wait. Who are you again?” Tony said, looking up from his phone for a moment.

“Sam. Sam Wilson.” Sam said, in a long suffering tone of someone who had introduced himself dozens of times.

“Cool, what kind of pizza do you want?”

“Hawaiian please, and Steve here will have two margaritas because he’s boring.”

“I’m not boring, it’s _classic_.”

“ _Sure_ it is, old man.” Natasha said laughing as she draped an arm over Captain Buttface’s shoulder. Clint looked at Natasha and whined,

“Nattttttt……. You never hang out with me anymore!”

“Clint. I beat you at monopoly _yesterday_.”

“Exactly! You attacked me! That’s not hanging out! You never want to cuddle anymore.” Clint pouted and Darcy laughed,

“That’s because you smell like dog shit Hot Guy.”

“It’s not Hawkguy it’s - Oh. Hot Guy. I can deal with that.”

People drifted into pods, Natasha, Sam, and Captain Buttface. Tony, Jane, and Dr. Banner (when did he appear?) were talking enthusiastically about something. Thor was… wait. Where did Thor go? Darcy looked around for a moment, ah. There he was, he was pretending he didn’t understand how the toaster worked. Again. Darcy held back a laugh as Clint wandered over to show him how to use it.

It worked every time.

“Jarvis?”

“Yes, Ms. Darcy?”

“Can you take a couple pictures of this for me?”

“Of course, where would you like a to save it?”

“Um. Family folder.”

“Yes Ms. Darcy.” Jarvis said, sounding approving. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you want to see more of? Your comments make a difference in where the story goes and how quickly it's written. (Did you see my foreshadowing here? There are a couple of them, some more obvious than others.)


	3. Feelings are Not a Stark's Forte

“So, does anyone have any plans for Christmas?” Darcy asked, trying to sound casual as she nibbled nervously at her pizza.

“I’m going home for Christmas Eve and Day but I’ll be here for the rest of it.” Sam said, in response to the sudden quiet.

“I’m out of town for Christmas Eve and Day and maybe a few days before or after as well, Nat you’re coming with right?”

“Yes, Clint, I’m coming with you.” Natasha spoke in a slightly condescending tone, like an owner to their dog, but Clint perked up anyway and Natasha had a slightly smile in her voice.

“I shall be staying here on Midgard with Jane.” Thor said, giving Jane an almost nervous glance. In response, she put a hand on Thor’s thigh and gave him a quick kiss, he then gave one of his huge grins. It almost made Darcy forget about his long pause and the small glance to the side, as if to remember that he didn’t really have a choice. That he was stuck here on Earth.

“Well there’s the Maria Stark Foundation Party, you are all invited of course.” Tony said, taking a large gulp of the cheap beer Clint had provided, insisting that it was the only appropriate drink to go with pizza.

“I’m staying here,” Bruce said with a shrug, as if to say _it’s not as if I have anywhere else to go._

“Bucky and I will be staying as well - as long as it’s okay with Tony.” Captain Buttface said with his ‘I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you’ face that Darcy had only heard of. It was just as manipulative as described. Tony shrugged again.

“Hey Tony,” Darcy looked around there room for escape. But she’d started it, now it was too late. “Do you mind if my family comes?” Darcy doesn’t say, ‘the rest of my family’ but she wants to. Because despite the fact that she’s now known her biological father for over two weeks - she hasn’t purposefully told anyone besides Papa and Dad. Tony might’ve told someone but she hasn’t heard anything about it.

“Not at all. More the merrier.” Tony grinned and Darcy’s stomach turns at how fake it is, “how many people?”

“Two, maybe three.”

“Cool, which floor are you on?”

“Oh! Uh- I’m on Thor’s floor in the guest room.” Tony gave a shocked gasp.

“Well that will not do! I’ll get your floor ready and then tomorrow you can pick out the furniture.” Tony paused and gave a slightly evil grin, “unless you want me to do it…”

“No no.” Darcy said waving her hand dismissively (and perhaps a bit frantic), “it’s fine. I got it”

“Excellent now- Pepper!”

“Pepper?” Darcy asked, before she heard the click, click, click of heels that she new associated with Miss Potts.

“Oh there you are Tony,” Miss Potts said, walking across the room to give Tony a quick kiss before pulling up a chair and putting her heeled feet into Tony’s lap. Darcy pauses before taking a bite, she really hopes Tony doesn’t have a foot fetish or something because that would be awkward. Like _really_ awkward. “Hello Steve, how is James doing - better I hope?”

“He is,” Captain Buttface sighed and Darcy thought it was unfair that he sounded like a worldweary hero instead of a jackass who allowed his friend to stalk innocent women.

On the other hand, Miss Potts _liked_ Captain Buttface? What?! Darcy took a mid-sized gulp of _really awful_ beer, the kind she’d thought she would never have to re-visit after university, and tried to pretend that she was on the side of the good in this conflict. But, the longer this went on, the more she felt like the asshole. She didn’t blame Bucky or the Winter Solider for what they’d done - not anymore - so could she really blame Captain Buttface?

Darcy shook it off - of course she could. (She pretended that it didn’t feel like rot at the back of her head, a mould at her heart. )

The dinner carried on, pauses were rare as Darcy realised that the Avengers knew and liked each other better than she’d realised. Yeah, there would be conflict from time to time, particularly between Captain Am- Buttface and Tony, but Miss Potts or Dr. Banner seemed to help move past it.

As the meal drew to an end, Darcy drinking her last sip of beer, Thor finishing his last four slices, Miss Potts gave Tony a weighted look.

Tony stood up.

He tapped a knife (the only utensil on the table) on his beer.

Silence.

Tony looked at Darcy for long moment, and Darcy felt her stomach fall through the floor.

“Ladies, Gentleman, and Assholes - I’m talking to you Barton - I have a very important announcement to make. I recently learned that I, in fact, have a child.” No one spoke. For a long, long, ten seconds there was dead silence. Finally, _finally_ , Tony continued, “luckily, you already know this person so you don’t have to meet anyone new-“

“You finally admit it - that you’re my father!” Clint said, sounding stupidly dramatic and the mood immediately lifting.

“This is why I called you an asshole Clint. And no. You’re not my kid. Thank god.” Tony said, smiling. “No, my child is Darcy Lewis,” _Oh Jesus. I’m not ready! They’re all looking at me! They’re all looking at me!_ “Darcy, I bring this up here because it has been brought to my attention that you may think I’m ashamed of you. I’m not. In fact, I’m incredibly proud.” Darcy had to laugh, Tony looked _so_ uncomfortable. “As of today, you are going to inherit Stark industries, when I die, and have a sizeable trust fund. Also, you know, all the other things being the kid of a rich person entails.” Tony paused then waved a hand dismissively, “we can go over it later.”

After that Tony stopped. And sat down. And after some immeasurable amount of time Darcy realised everyone was waiting for her to say something.

“Well shit. This means I _have_ to invite Uncle Mike to Christmas.” Darcy’s mouth said, _without her permission._

Natasha laughed, Tony looked relieved.

“Guys, guys, this is big news, why don’t you look more surprised?” Tony said, his normal needy persona back on. Natasha laughed again, - and it was just as unnerving as the first time she heard it.

“I think,” Dr. Banner said, “what Natasha means to say,” Natasha raised an eyebrow, “is that we already knew.”

“Yep.” Clint said, grabbing another beer.

“Sorry Mr. Stark-“

“-Tony-“ Tony interrupts.

“But I was there when Darcy found out.” Sam continues, “and Steve was there when Darcy freaked out about it.”

“ _I_ didn’t know.” Jane says, giving Darcy a hurt look, Thor joins her.

“‘Nor did I.”

All the sudden everyone is giving her a judgemental look.

“Hey!” Darcy says, putting her hands up in surrender, “it’s not in my nature to share information voluntarily.”

“Huh.” Miss Potts says, “I can see the resemblance all the sudden.” And the tension Darcy hadn’t noticed rising was suddenly back down again. Sam and Miss Potts were so good at controlling the room - the tension - making people feel relaxed and now jealousy is burning low in Darcy’s stomach. (She’s around so many extraordinary people, and even the ones who aren’t superheroes are better than her.)

“So now that Tony’s gotten _his_ dramatic reveal out of the way, does _anyone else_ have something to share.” Natasha says, very clearly _not looking_ at anyone at the table. Darcy’s pretty sure it’s not aimed at her. But no one says anything for a long moment before Miss Potts speaks up,

“Alright, what movie are we watching, Tony?” She asks standing up, pushing the first domino, now everyone is standing up and Tony is talking a thousand miles an hour.

Darcy is left with the feeling like she missed something. It’s an ugly feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? (I'm nervous - I forced the writing out but what I really want to write is Sherlock and John and Hamish and Mycroft!)


	4. On the Back Foot

The movie draws to a close and Darcy pulls herself back to awareness. Tony and Jane are fast asleep on their respective partners. Clint and Natasha are both in a nest that Clint had insisted on building - both looking alert and aware but from experience Darcy thinks they’re comfortable. Sam looks half asleep laid out on one of the sofas, and it occurs to Darcy that she’s probably not the only one in the tower that has a hard time sleeping.

Dr. Banner had left at one point - supposedly for tea - but never came back. Captain Buttface left at one point when Jarvis had said his name quietly - unfortunately he _did_ come back. Darcy is almost tempted to yawn, and stretch and fall asleep right there, but she doesn’t know these people well enough and she would prefer not to wake up crying in front of Captain Buttface.

She stands, and yawns and behind her there is a rustling.

“Sam, do you want to sleep here?”

“Nah, I’ll get up in mo-“ Sam pauses to yawn, “-ment.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Darcy hears Captain Buttface say, then there’s another rustle and Darcy turns to see Sam being carried princess style.

“Dude.” Sam says, clearly unable to protest much more when he’s about to pass out. “Wait. Are you doing this to avoid-“ There is a pause less than a second long before Sam hisses “Darcy!” in a low sharp voice. Darcy reluctantly walks over to where the two of them are. “Steve here, has something to say to you.”

“Um.” Captain Buttface looks like he’s been thrown onto the back foot. “Bucky wants to see you again. If you wanted. He said it’s fine if you don’t-“

“No- it’s fine.” Darcy interrupts. She’d not really sure why she’s saying it. It’s not fine. She doesn’t want to go. She doesn’t want to have to see the stupid blond idiot again and she’d rather avoid the brain fucked assassin. But now that she’d dizzy with lack of sleep and her brain isn’t functioning quite right she keeps thinking of Hamish. And she has no choice but to say yes.

“Thanks. Ah. Just let Jarivs know when you’re available and- ah-“ Sam is snickering. “We’ll - I’ll - He’ll. We’ll set something up.” The blond idiot runs away and Darcy is left standing in a dark theatre feeling - once more - like she’s missed something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept yawning as I wrote this because the characters were! (Also - hey - two updates one day. Mostly because: I'm sorry, I'm about to start exams so I'll either be updating once a day as I procrastinate, or not at all. Either way, the quality level isn't going to be great - sorry.)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey readers,  
> Little bit of a PSA: so the first story arc finished on the second chapter and the third chapter was the start of the second "growth" arc which I'm very excited for. That means that if you have idea you want to see, now is the time to tell me!   
> -Mysana
> 
> (Comments of every form are always appreciated!)


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